One time when Tom was out in the driveway washing his car, I noticed what used to be a NEW bottle of Williams Sonoma dish soap sitting HALF EMPTY next to his bucket of water. I could feel the veins in my forehead starting to pop and ran out of the house screaming "Noooooooooooo!" I swiped the bottle, cradling it in my arms while spewing off a few choice words to Tom who was lathering away oblivious to the crime scene. He tells me not to get hot about it and then goes back to sudsing up the hood...while whistling. (Whistling in times of crisis is another one of my pet peeves so I'm REALLY lovin' this.) He then tells me...
"What's the big deal? It's SOAP! Soap is Soap whether it's on your hands, the dishes or a car! So don't get all worked up. I'll buy you another bottle. What is it two, three bucks?"
"More like nine."
"WHAT?!? NINE dollars for soap that is used to wash DISHES?!? You have got to be out of your freakin' MIND! NINE dollars for that small bottle??"
"Yes, but I don't use it that often, only on the stuff I don't put in the dishwasher. You just used 6 months of dish soap in ONE car washing."
"Shit. Now I'm glad I didn't use your shower gel."
"Well now I'm glad your car smells like Pink Grapefruit."
*update: Tom just read this post and reminded me of something. While he was washing the car, (before I even saw the soap and started my rant) our neighbor and friend Lori had come home and saw that he was using the Williams Sonoma dish soap. Tom said her eyes bugged out of her head and she said, "Laura's NOT going to like that." And Tom just shrugged it off. (By the way, I'm convinced if Lori saw her husband using her dish soap to clean his car, he would probably be missing at least one limb.) So, Tom had FAIR warning to know that what he was doing was completely asinine yet he chose to continue on with washing and whistling.
4 comments:
OMG - I never laughed so hard reading this blog. AND I did nearly have a heart attack when I saw Tom using Williams Sonoma dish soap. I tried to get him to hide it - trying to save his ass.
I warned him and you are right he acted like nothing was wrong - like so what who cares. At that time it was Fall so it was the Nutmeg flavor my favorite. And was it his car he was washing or FISHING poles...
You have to admit for weeks you had the best scented driveway in town......
You are right! It was NUTMEG!!! Good memory.
And it was definitely his car he was washing. But on a separate note, I do remember him pissing me off when he washed the fishing poles. Ok this is going to bug me now. I have to think back.
A-Ha! It didn't take me long. Ok, he used a towel that my Grandmother had embroidered (when we moved into our first place in Chicago) to DRY his GOLF CLUBS he had just washed and shined. I experienced Chest pains that day. The towel was completely stained and in shambles (and so was our marriage for a day or two.) OMG I am getting mad all over again. Poor guy will come home from a long day's work and I'll start laying into him for something he did 2 years ago!
You are too funny - I am sorry I got him in trouble. But I knew he did something with the fishing poles....
Tell him I'm sorry - but it is FUNNY!!!!
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