hello?

Tonight I got a call from a man taking a survey for Northwest Canadian Travel. He asked if I would participate, it would only take a few minutes. Usually I have a field day with these guys so I said sure. I started out pretending to be really dumb, like he asked me if I had ever been to the Northwest territory and I said northwest of what??? He said this was specific to the Northwest territory of Canada and then asked to speak to anyone in the household who has traveled away from home for more than 5 nights this past year. I told him that I have in fact traveled but I refuse to fly, all my travel is by car or canoe. He then says can you tell me the most recent trip you took where you stayed more than 5 nights? I said Greece. He asked, did you row there?? He was quick I'll give him that. I told him that I forgot about that trip, and yes, I did fly there. He said how long ago was this trip? I said less than 2 months ago. He said, Ok let me flip through some of these pages. I'm assuming he skipped a few questions. So then he asks me all sorts of questions about what I like and dislike about travel and vacations and it's moving along pretty well and the guy is soo nice that I'm now trying to redeem myself and answer honestly. Tom pops into the room from time to time and hears me blurting out, "AGREE! DISAGREE! AGREE! AGREE! DISAGREE!" and makes a "what the f*ck" sort of face and I just smile and happily answer all the questions.

He starts wrapping up the survey and asks me if I read the newspaper daily. I tell him no. He asks why and starts listing all these reasons and I tell him none of those, I just don't like getting ink all over my hands. He says well that's not one of the choices so can you give me another reason? I tell him because it kills too many trees. He said how about you get your news from another source? I say ok. He says what source, television, radio, internet? I say, the internet. He says how often do you search news stories on on the internet? I ask is this just specific to news or do you mean browsing the internet for other things? He says, such as? I say never mind.

Then he asks me if I am over or under the age of 45 and I say are you serious??? He said, I just had to ask but I'm guessing no. It was pretty funny.

He says thank you and asks if I can be included on future surveys and I tell him I would prefer not. We say our goodbyes and then Tom asks me what the hell was that?

Not even two minutes later the guy calls back and says he was unclear on one of my answers and could I explain. It was about advertisements for travel that I've seen in the past year. I told him the only ads I've seen for travel have been for Israel and San Diego. Israel looks pretty cool. I'd like to go there...by boat.