Friday, December 18, 2009

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Oprah's Favorite Things Parody

I have been looking for this video forever online and thanks to this blog I found it! It makes me laugh soooo hard. Hope you all enjoy it too. Thank you KayCaskey!

Saturday, November 14, 2009

momism

My mom says to me on the phone: "Did you hear that Banks Beetle is going out of business?"

My brain goes into overdrive quickly trying to scan company names that sound even remotely close: Birkenstock? L.L. Bean?? Bank of America?? BEETLEJUICE!?!? I GIVE UP.

me: "What kind of store is it?"

mom: "You know, they sell jewelry."

me: "Ohhh, Bailey Banks and Biddle."

mom: "Right. They're going out of business."

Then later in the conversation she warned me to avoid buying precious gems or stones at Macy's because they are fakes. Good thing she caught me in time because I was just on my way out to buy myself a ruby tennis bracelet.

compromise

So typically on the weekends a trip to Home Depot or Lowe's is involved. I used to wait in the car when Tom would say, "It'll be quick, just need to pick up one thing." But I've learned my lesson. There is never just one thing. So I'll go in with him and within seconds, he's off in a million directions. I usually wander the seasonal aisles or hang around in light fixtures and tell him to meet me in one of those places when he's done. Or if we have Wrigs with us I take him to the door section and we open every door, even the sliders and walk through them together. Wrigs LOVES it. It's funny because one time when Tom was looking for us, he went looking in the doors section and asked the guy sitting there if he'd seen a woman and dog going in and out of these doors and the man said "Yes, why do they do that?" (THEY makes me laugh, like this was all Wrigs idea) and Tom replied that "we're just training our dog." (Yes, because our dog needs training on how to walk in and out of a door. So stupid! But still, we will continue to do it.)

Anyway, so when we're at Home Depot inevitably Tom and I can't find each other. This happens ALL THE TIME. I'll try his cell, he will have left it in the car. So my last resort is paging him and he HATES it. But I get so frustrated that I almost enjoy doing it because it pisses him off so much. As soon as Tom hears his name over the loud speaker, I'll see him appear in the distance and the look on his face is PURE EVIL. He seriously wants to kill me. Then I get pissed because he's so pissed and then a verbal exchange ensues that goes something like this...

TOM: Why do you DO that?? I told you where I was going to be!?!

ME: I looked for you everywhere. Obviously you weren't in ONE spot, look at all the crap you have in the cart.

TOM: Well, I need this stuff. It's all for the same project.

ME: Whatever, I hate this place.

TOM: I'm sick of you paging me.

ME: I'm sick of you wandering off like a lost child.

TOM: You're the one wandering off! Why don't you stay with me instead of walking through 25 doors all the time!?

ME: Because that's just what I do.

So yesterday Tom came with me on some errand running. I had to go to Michael's and Joann Fabrics. He didn't realize we were going to hit both stores so after Michael's I said "OH I just have to stop at Joann's while we're here" and he got all flustered and was like, "How long is this going to take?? What do you need? Why didn't you get it all at Michaels???" I explained to him that these are two different stores much like Lowe's and Home Depot and also reminded him that there have been times we have stopped at BOTH Lowe's and Home Depot and even ACE hardware all in the same day and that finally shut him up. Our relationship is based on so much compromise which is good but it's like we have a running tally of who does what and when. It'll be like, "Ok you can have golf on for one hour if you clean out the litter boxes and empty the dust buster." Or "If you scratch my back for 20 minutes, I'll help you rake leaves." Stuff like that.

Anyway, while in Joann's, I realized that I do the same thing he does to me when we're in his type of stores. I get so overwhelmed once inside and even though I have a list of things I need to get, I can't focus on a single thing because my sensory overload has kicked into high gear and I'm off running around like a wild banshee, leaving Tom in my wake. And I completely lose all track of time.

Yesterday all we needed to get was garland and lights, that was it. But somehow I ended up in the back of the store in the knitting supply aisles and was probably there for about 10 minutes or so having a conversation with a fellow knitter about graduated color yarns and color blocks of yarn and the difference in their look depending on what you're knitting. As we're chatting, I see a figure run past the aisle and then two seconds later back up and of course it's Tom and he's just standing at the end of the aisle staring at me. I bid my farewell to the knitter and throw some yarn in my cart. Our exchange:

TOM: How does THIS (pointing to the yarns) have anything to do with the garland and lights you needed??

ME: You're one to talk. You go to Home Depot for tub caulk and come home with a Leaf Blower.

He picks up my big wad of chunky purple yarn and drop kicks it high into the air then catches it and dangles it above my head. I pretend to kick towards his privates and now we are full on wrestling, swinging and chasing each other around the yarn aisles at Joann fabrics. Now Tom and I will say things to each other that sound really bad but they are totally in fun. So as we're acting like idiots with the yarn he says, "I'm going to tie you up with this and roll you down the hill side." I start laughing and grab some knitting needles and slap his ass with them. I tell him I'm going to knit his lips shut so I never have to hear him squawk again and he tells me he's going to chop me up into little pieces and flush me down the toilet. And all the while the little knitter I was chatting with just moments before stands quietly to the side watching us in horror.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Perspective

I think about those who are fighting in this war, risking their lives, losing their sanity, not knowing if they will ever see their families again. Then I think about their families, wrought with worry, so helpless to keep their loved ones safe from the harm that can strike at any minute. But yet, full of hope that they will return to their home, safely...where they belong.

Then I see someone at the local coffee shop, furiously upset at the barrista because her latte tastes "too bitter".

And I think, perspective.

Then, I think, maybe this is the wife of some soldier on his 4th tour, fighting for our freedoms, HER freedom to complain openly and loudly that her latte is not to her liking, and maybe she is at the end of her rope distraught from the constant fear of possibly never seeing her husband again, having to raise her 5 out of control children alone, and maybe...maybe she is not well? Maybe she is terminally ill and after months and months of horrifying treatments she is finally able to enjoy this one small cup of coffee and when she finally clutches it in her hands and holds it up to her nose, she delights in the aroma..."Oh how I've missed thee!", she thinks to herself. And then she takes that first sip and...

...goes bat shit crazy.

I'm not saying I wish these horrible circumstances upon this woman, but I just hope that people take the time to be grateful for the blessings and freedoms we have that so many others will never get to experience.

Our troops are out there fighting and dying every single day. Innocent people are also dying along with them. Right now as we sit in the comforts of our warm homes and tap into our computers to read blogs, or write emails or share photos with friends on facebook, people are struggling, suffering, dying.

I wish I had the courage to say that to woman at the coffee shop, but I didn't. I don't know her story and really- who am I to tell someone to shut the F up when I tend to bitch and moan about less important things too? We all do, but it doesn't mean that we don't acknowledge the sacrifices others make for the freedoms we have in this country.

So let's not take them for granted.

That's all I'm saying.

Monday, November 09, 2009

Chumley enjoying some broccoli

I haven't posted any videos in soooo long so I figured I would share this little clip of Chum enjoying one of his favorite treats.

Thursday, November 05, 2009

This time last year...

We were renting a cold house, didn't know many people, and were pretty miserable (ok I was pretty miserable)

Now, we are still in a cold house (our heat broke) but, I have soooo many blessings to be thankful for.

It's even rainy and crappy as crap today but what a difference a year makes.

We have met some amazing people who have warmly welcomed us into their lives and I feel so blessed to have formed these friendships that will carry us through a lifetime.

Getting involved in the community has helped too. I've been volunteering since June at the Senior Center, teaching internet and email classes to the seniors in the community. I'm now going to start working there in January, teaching a Creative Writing/Poetry class which I'm really excited about. Was supposed to start in November but they just got new computers so alas...2 more months of computer classes. God, give me patience. But really, I do love it and the "students" have enriched my life in ways I never thought possible.

I'm also freelancing on a couple projects which is another great outlet for staying current in the business world and also maintaining contacts in the tv/film industry. Again I have been very blessed and am grateful to the people who have not given up on me, even though I am no longer living in S. Cal.

My mom had a health scare about a month ago, and thankfully she is doing well. She has now been diagnosed with Diabetes and has to completely change her eating habits but this was another blessing because had she not had the emergency surgery on her intestines, we would have never known about the diabetes. Her doctor just gave her the OK to come out and visit us for Thanksgiving as well as my birthday and we are very happy about this. Tom's mom will be out here too and Tom is running the Seattle marathon on Nov. 29th and we will be there to cheer him on! He ran the Chicago marathon 10 years ago so his mission is to beat his time and qualify for Boston. One minor thing he needs to realize...Seattle has HILLS!!

Anyway, I just wanted to stop and count my blessings today. I'm sitting here, by the fire (since there's no heat), watching the leaves blow and the waves flow to the shore. I've got Wrigs to my right and Chum atop one of the shower curtain covered chairs to my left and right now, life...is really good.

Take care and think about the blessings in your life too.

xoxo


(starting to knit some holiday gifts too. this is Little Blue Bear)

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Friday, October 30, 2009

letters to the animals

Dear Sweet Wrigley,

I love you so much you Big Lug, Grape Ape, Noodle bodied- yellow beast. You are the most entertaining and comical dog I have ever had in my life and I could kiss, no, EAT your paws off, that's how much I love you. Thank you for giving me a soft place to fall when I need you.


And now, Chumley,

I can honestly say that thanks to having you in my life for 15 years... I will NEVER have another cat. Sometimes, I think you are an alien spy or an evil terrorist disguised in a cat's body. I will never understand why you do some of the things you do and why when you're sitting atop the kitchen counter, gently pawing at my cell phone, then looking up at me to make sure I'm watching and when I see you I say, "STOP IT CHUMLEY!" and with that you literally WIND UP your paw and slap my phone to the ground. And now, my screen is black. I am done trying to figure you out. We will co-exist in this house for the remainder of our lives. Tom is convinced you are going to outlive all of us. Btw, happy birthday. There is no liver/salmon souffle this year. Sorry. Ass.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

"I COME TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!"

Monday, October 26, 2009

Something's up


I obviously interrupted these 2. They were just sitting on the couch looking at each other, then I walked in and they quickly turned to look at me. My guess is it was a stare off. They make me laugh out loud at least 10 times a day.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

this will make you laugh!

Karyn and Bev made an ecard of us during their visit to Seattle:

The Monster Mash


Friday, October 09, 2009

It's nice to know...

Someone's always watching over you.

(thank you Karyn for these AMAZING photos)

Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Chumley


doing what he does best.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

SCANDAL!


Wrigs moved in on Chum's woman. More to come...

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Prayers please

My mom is having emergency surgery tonight. This came as a huge surprise to all of us. She was taken to the ER today and admitted to the hospital. Her surgery is going to be at 9 pm central time. Please say prayers. I am here in Seattle and feel helpless. Brings back way too many memories of my Dad. Please say prayers. THank you.

SURGERY WAS SUCCESSFUL! We are so relieved and thankful for the prayers. Now we can focus on recovery. SO HAPPY about that!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

A letter to Beverly, From Wrigley

(as a result of this)

BEVERLY,

I saw the photos you sent to my brother Chumley (I hacked into his email) and I think they are very, very naughty. You can't come dressed that way to our house. No way.

I have a girlfriend and her name is Ruth and she will not be happy with you parading around half naked flaunting your seven nipples. If you try to disrobe at any point while you are here I will throw my Snuggie on you.

Here's a picture of Ruth. She's really stunning.

I also have a boyfriend, his name is Norm but I don't think he'd mind seeing your nipples so let's just forget about him for right now.

Anyway, Chumley wanted me to tell you he's really looking forward to your visit.

Fondly,
WRIGLEY

Monday, September 21, 2009

ATTENTION THOSE IN DALLAS, TEXAS

(and surrounding areas too!)

My friend Jane is looking for a good home for her sweet cat Shadow. Please see below and if you know anyone looking to adopt a cat, please pass along. I know there are quite a few animal lovers out there so I thought I would use this blog as a way to reach out because you just never know. Shadow is an 8 year old male.



Meet Shadow! He's a big lover boy who loves to snuggle and sunbathe.
He's good with other cats and dogs, but would prefer to be the center
of attention and be in a home where he's king of the castle without
any other furry friends. Because he's such a big boy (approximately 18
pounds), he doesn't know his own strength and is not good with little
children. Shadow has slightly elevated liver functions and takes a
half a pill to keep them regulated daily. These pills are very
inexpensive and he takes them very easily without putting up any kind
of a fight. He loves to snuggle and purr. We have a new baby in the
home, and unfortunately, he has not adjusted well. I would love to
find him a new home where he will be loved on and cared for. Please
e-mail me with any questions at janebrauscher@gmail.com.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

homeless

I see you
But then, I quickly turn away.
Afraid our eyes will meet
And connect our hearts.
Why are you here?
Where is your home? Family?
Have you ever felt love before?
I don't want to think of you
Cold and hungry in the darkness of night.
You deserve so much more
What can I do?
I've now met your gaze
And feel hopeless.
All I can do
Is offer you love.
A pat on the head,
You are loved, sweetheart.
You are loved.


The battle over the new toy

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

The concert

was a lot of fun.

But pics did not turn out so good.


Need to be better prepared for next time.

Mr. Lucky is a FABULOUS album. Was worth the 7 year wait!

Friday, September 04, 2009

tonight

Is the Chris Isaak concert and I am thrilled to bits! His latest album, Mr. Lucky is awesome.

Here is one of my favs:

We've Got Tomorrow

Best played REALLY loud.

And for a little more mellow mood this song is perfect:

Breaking Apart

I'm not a fan of country music at all and I don't think this really classifies as true country even though it sort of has that sound. I just love his lyrics, the melodies and of course his smooth as silk voice. Sooooo excited for tonight!

Thursday, September 03, 2009

dirty little secret (update to an update!)

ALERT! ALERT! I do NOT like the Buddy Rinse Conditioner. Used it today and the smell was not the same smell as the spray when applying to wet hair. Sort of smelled like it at first but then had a meat sort of smell. Not only that, I didn't like the way my hair dried after using it. My hair doesn't smell bad now that it's dry, but it's very dull, not shiny at all and limp. I still do LOVE the Spray but I'm only going to use the rinse on those with fur in this house. Tom???

------

Wrigs and I went to the pet store to get the animal's essentials so of course I had to stop at the shampoo/spray area and check out some more of the goodies. I'm opening bottles, sniffing them, then showing them to Wrigs so he could have a sniff too, (didn't want to appear too obvious that I'm buying this stuff for myself) and I found Buddy Rinse Conditioner, in the same scent as the spray. I popped it in my cart and headed over to the register. The sales girl says to me, "Oh have you tried the shampoo on him?" I tell her that no I think we'll just stick with the conditioner for now. Then she says, "The stuff smells so good I want to use it on my own hair." I think, should I go there?? Oh what the hell so I say, "Well actually, I'm buying this to try myself." I wait for strange looks but get none. She says, "I know people who do that. One of the girls who works here uses the spray on her hair all the time." I blurt out, "I LOVE THE SPRAY! I use it all the time and that is why I'm buying the conditioner!" She laughs at me and says, "Did you know there's also a bar soap?" I tell her, "SHUT UP I NEED IT NOW" and she takes me back over to the aisle. But unfortunately, the bar soap is sold out. Now I'm starting to wonder how many people are really using this stuff on their dogs. I think the secret's out. Has anyone been able to find it yet? If so, please let me know what you think! It's delicious.

Oh and I'll let you know how I like the Buddy Rinse, probably within the next 3 days or so.





Since I'm a lazy ass and don't like to wash/dry/style my hair unless birds start taking up residence...
I read somewhere that it's damaging to the hair follicles if you wash your hair too often so I typically wash and dry no more than 3 times a week. When my hair starts to get icky I use a conditioning spray that works WONDERS and makes it smell fresh and clean while adding a little sheen to the surface.

This spray is only sold in select stores. You won't find it at your high end salons, discount beauty suppliers, drugstores, Targets, etc. Nope, none of those places will carry it. But waltz into your local pet store and low and behold there it is...

Buddy Splash Pet Spritzer

My favorite is the Lavender Mint splash and I'm usually not a fan of lavender but it's so subtle and is one of the cleanest smelling sprays I've ever tried. Oh and Wrigs likes it too! Our local pet store carries it for $5.95 and I'm tempted to try some of the other scents.

I'll bring Wrigs along as my decoy.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

this is toooooooooo cute!



I love when he squeaks towards the end. What a baby!

Monday, August 31, 2009

Vacuum Cleaner Blow out


Since there seems to be an abundance of highly depressing news lately I thought I'd switch gears and focus on something a little less critical but still not very uplifting. Vacuuming. But to be more specific, vacuuming small throw rugs and bath mats. Does anyone else have a knock down drag out fight with their vacuum when attempting to vacuum these tiny little plots of hell? I absolutely DREAD it and I have to mentally psyche myself up before I flip on the switch and begin that nightmare process. I even try different techniques such as picking up the vacuum, placing it on the rug/mat then allowing it to suck up the area it's resting on without even moving it, then shutting off the vacuum, moving it a centimeter so it can suck up the next spot but inevitably this ends up in disaster and half the fricking rug gets sucked inside and I'm yanking on the son of the bitch vacuum soooo hard that I end up either hurting my neck from the whip lash when the rug finally releases or the kick back from the force of the vacuum causes it to slam down on my foot. This is why I never, ever EVER will vacuum barefoot EVER again. Oh and then there's the noise the vacuum starts to make when you suck up the rug, it's like a high pitched whining sound and sometimes I just yell so loud, "SHUT UP YOU WHORE!" and Tom will know that I mean business and stays out of my way. Then the whole room starts to smell like burnt hair and that is when I purposely kick the vacuum down to the ground so it's laying on its back and I calmly say "You're dead to me" and walk away.

Time to wash my pits and splash cold water on my face. I feel better already.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

prayers

are with those affected by the wild fires in southern California and for the families of the 2 firefighters who were killed. This is just a recurring nightmare that plays over and over and over this time of year. Just completely horrifying for those in its path. So devastating.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

"Don't Drink the Orange Juice"

that's what my mom told me right now but she really means, "Don't Drink the Kool- Aid."

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

momism

mom:
"Hi honey, wanted to let you know that I ordered you and Tom some breasts from QVC." (at this point I'm thinking WTF but didn't interrupt, she continues) "They look delicious and should arrive by the 27th. Share some with your friends. They are parmesan breaded chicken breasts." (Thank goodness. I knew at some point this would make sense)

Can't wait for my box o' breasts to arrive!

Friday, August 14, 2009

you say tomato

I say...waste of money!

what you are looking at is the result of 3 topsy turvy tomato plant attempts. Coupled with a $158 water bill I'd say this crop was a big fat bust. Not sure what to do with this one tomato though. I feel as though it should be honored seeing it's the only viable source of food that sprung from the plant's loins. Maybe I'll make the world's smallest bloody mary. For Chumley.

since you've been gone

Tom and I like to make up stupid songs for each other. If we hear a song on the radio or on our pod we'll change the lyrics around to poke fun at or be mean to each other. All in fun. Most of the time.

So earlier today there was a segment on tv about Kelly Clarkson and they played a clip of Since You've Been Gone. Instantly Tom busts into his own rendition with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I've had nothing but a GREAT TIME!"

He looked at me then laughed. I said that wasn't very nice and followed with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I don't seeeeee anymore-black-socks-on-the-floor!" (I incorporated some dance moves too, while pointing at random socks strewn all over the closet/bedroom floor)

then he shouts out,

"Since you've been gooooooone, there's no more haaaaair stuck to the shower wall!"

so naturally I continue with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I can't find a single nose hair in the sink!"

he tried not to laugh because he KNOWS this is SO TRUE and then came back with:

"Since you've been gooooooone, I get laaaaaid ALL the TIME!"

*crickets, crickets*

Yeah, we're done with this song.

stuck on the sh*tter again

when you spend 1/3 of your day in the bathroom you have a LOT of time to think about nonsense or make up stupid songs. I guess I like to do a combo of both.

Here is today's little ditty sung to the tune of "Stuck in the Middle with You":

Stuck on the Shitter Again

well I don't know why I ate that tonight
I got the feeling that something ain't right
I'm so scared I'm gonna crap in my chair
and I wonder do I have clean underwear??
TP to the left of me
magazines to the right, here I am
stuck on the shitter again.

yes I'm stuck on the shitter again,
and I wonder if I'll be here til 10.
it's so hard to keep a smile on my face
when my bowels explode all over the place
spray to the left of me
candles to the right, here I am,
stuck on the shitter again.

(my dream is to get some cartoon software and make little videos for all of my crazy songs. don't worry they're not all about poop)

not so politically correct

but I was irritable.

Tom and I ate an early lunch in town and within minutes I had some SERIOUS stomach issues. We had walked to the restaurant and now had about a mile and a half walk back home. We're both rushing (and I'm clenching) and on the sidewalk we're log jammed behind a large Asian family (large as in quantity of people, not size). These people just decided to stop right there and block any and all walking room. Frustrated I said out loud, "MOVE IT, Jon and Kate plus 8!" They still didn't move so we side winded into the street AND traffic to pass them.

Tom says I need to collect myself and keep those thoughts in my head from now on.

I say, not so much.

Wrigs Spa Day


Tom asks, "DOYOUWAHFLOWAHHHH???"

Thursday, August 13, 2009

SBF

For the past month or so I've had what I like to call, "Severe Brain Fog." What is Severe Brain Fog or SBF? Well if my brain wasn't so foggy I'd be able to tell you in precise terms but since I can barely hold a thought I'll just cite some examples.

-Several days ago Wrigs and I drove into town, parked and walked to tend to our errands. Dry cleaning, bank, pharmacy, pet store, things like that. Well when I got back to the car, I put Wrigs in the back and then I got in and sat in the passenger seat. I checked my phone, answered a text and then thought, wait a second, I DROVE HERE! The area where I parked was bustling with lunch time crowds so rather than look like a moron and get out of the car and walk over to the driver's side I rummaged through the glove compartment as though I sat there purposely trying to find a map, tire gauge or what not. Then after grabbing an old pen and moving it into the center console I straddled the shifter and casually slid into the driver's seat.

-I was on some strong antibiotics because when I was back in Chicago en route to Pittsburgh, I got some nasty bug. I ended up having to go to Urgent Care and when the doctor took a throat swab the top of the q-tip was covered in dark red blood. Still don't know what it was (wasn't strep) but the doctor was concerned and put me on a high dose of antibiotics. This is when things really kicked into high gear. It wasn't so bad in the mornings but for whatever reason (wine) my night time dose really messed me up. I started seeing these blobby faces in my tea, in noodles, and even when I'd close my eyes. It got so bad one night that the face in my tea had teeth and was chewing at me. I threw the glass and the rest of the bottle of tea down the drain because of the sticky faces I saw.

-And then this morning I was making coffee as I do just about every morning and instead of pouring water into the coffee pot I poured it halfway full of milk. Thankfully I realized what I did before I poured the milk into the coffee maker because that would have been a pain in the ass to clean out. I know I'm not old but isn't this a sign of what old age is kind of like? (Aside from the hallucinations which I think were caused by an intolerance to the meds.)

Oh and one of the worst things I EVER did was just the other night. Tom and I were out til about 11:45pm trying to watch the meteors. Chum n Wrigs were with us then Tom and Wrigs went inside and I followed shortly after...but I forgot about Chum. Poor guy was outside on the deck ALL NIGHT in the cold and rain til 7:30 the next morning. Never in the 15 years of owning this cat have I ever left him outside like this. If anything would have happened to him I could never have forgiven myself.

Anyway, just wanted to share my SBF issues on here. I really want to update more and may have to do blogging like I do my facebook updates, random snippets of nonsense here and there. That seems to be the only way I can function/communicate lately.

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

sisters

Yesterday, was her birthday.
I never met her, but I feel her presence through my mom's sadness,
On the day of her birth and again on her death-
And many days in between.
There should have been 3 of us,
But it didn't turn out that way.

Sunday, August 02, 2009

Sunday funny


"I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod."

(sent to me via email from my friend Rebecca - this did not really happen to me, just wanted to clarify!)

Friday, July 24, 2009

Ok one last pic before I go...

(Cuz it's too flippin' cute not to share)

The animals want to go on a road trip too! But they can't. They will stay here with Tom and I will miss them all very much. :(

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Just imagine what the reception would be like...



My cousin sent this to me on facebook and I had to post on here! - I'm going to be MIA for a while as I'm taking a family trip across the country (me, my mom and sister all in a car, LORD HELP US ALL!) May try and update remotely via the i-touch but not sure I'll be able to. Enjoy the rest of July and stay happy, healthy and safe!

Monday, July 20, 2009

the best photo I've ever taken!

All I have to do is look at this photo and I smile. I love animals soooo much! They are the best! They are terrific! They should rule the world! I am bursting with animal love right now I really don't think I can contain myself. What in the world would we do without these amazing creatures!?!?!?!?!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

How I will always remember MJ

smiling,

silly,

and...

innocent.



And finally,

...at peace.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

momism at sea

My mother is on an Alaskan cruise. It's something she's always wanted to do her whole life and now at 70 something years old, she is sailing around Alaska, enjoying every minute of it. She called to check in and see how things are going with us and I filled her in on our little lives and also that I had a bad bout of food poisoning last week. And this was our exchange after I told her about the food poisoning:

mom: "Damn it. Don't do that again!"

me: "Do what? Eat???"

mom: "Eat something with food poisoning."

me: "Ohhh. Ok, I should have known better."

I'm actually responding with "I should have known better" a lot lately. It's just easier that way.

But I also think the 20+ hours of daylight are starting to give my mom the sillies.

The Hungries


Every night around 5:30ish I ask the animals, "Who's Hungry???" They look at me and meow (Chum) and head tilt/blink (Wrigs) then they stampede down the hallway into the feedin' room for their dinner.

We (me, Chum and Wrigs) made up a little song that we sing when this happens:

title of song is called, "The Hungries"

"here they come
marchin' to their bowls
they're ready to eat now
stuffin' their pie holes"

(then, this is where Chum n Wrigs sing together, duet style)

"hey hey we're the hungries
we're ready to eat our meal
give us some kibble and canned food
then listen to us squeal!!"

It happens every single night. They are so predictable sometimes.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

bittersweet rediscovery

I watched the memorial service for Michael Jackson and pretty much cried for 2 hours straight.

It was a beautiful tribute to a beautiful and talented, entertainer, father, son, brother, humanitarian.

And I love this song:

Hold My Hand.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

mom mail

I'd like to blog about something that I can only refer to as "mom mail". Mom mail comes to me in the form of a sweet little card with smiling cartoon puppies, only to house various articles on "how to survive an anthrax attack" or "woman strangled while riding escalator in long scarf". Here are just a few that I came across while sorting through boxes and tubs of cards and notes since we moved. Will it ever end?!

Often times, she'll scribble little notes around the xeroxed page (my mom also sends these alerts to my sister and cousins)



(FYI, my mom always told me NEVER to put my head under water in a hot tub because my hair would get sucked into the drain resulting in a slow, tortuous death)

(this is good to know seeing we love to pot poisonous plants in and around our home)

The best is when she adds a personal "I know someone who" tidbit onto the page. For example:


Surgery on the leg for strep??? Hmmm. I don't question anymore. I just tell her thanks for the info and myself and my legs will stay away from potential strep carriers.

Oh and then when we moved to S. Cal in '03, my mom sent me this article along with a card detailing that we MUST AVOID DRIVING ON THE 405 AT ALL TIMES!!! She envisioned snipers hiding on the roadside, shooting at cars left and right. (Ok, so she's kind of got a point here.)



And apparently my mom would like us to stop eating fish. I thought fish was good for you?!?!?!




Oh but blueberries are still ok to eat. Phew. I just had some with breakfast this morning.


But I guess I shouldn't have put on any mascara or lipstick. I feel an itchy rash coming on now!


And in case Chumley ever decides to hop a flight he better steer clear of the cockpit:


Seriously this is just too much to think about. It hurts my head. Time for a drink. But not to worry mom - I'll skip the aspirin...

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

3 little fishies

Tom and I went to a wedding on Sunday...

The centerpieces were floating candles with orchids and one betta fish. As we were leaving we were asked if we would like to take a centerpiece home. I said YES! Tom wasn't so sure but then finally agreed. Then we saw that 2 other fishes didn't have a home so we ended up taking all 3 of them.

Meet Enriquqe, Priscilla and Huey Lewis:


Wrigs saying hello to Enrique:


Chum checking out his new friend Huey Lewis:

I went to the pet store to find out what I'm supposed to do to keep these guys healthy and happy and I asked the "animal specialist" what I needed to do to clean their cages. Yep. I said cages. She said, "Please tell me you don't have your fish in a cage!" I told her no, they are in a vase and then explained that I know NOTHING about fishies. As if she couldn't tell.

Anyway, here's a pic of Huey after his bath:

So far they're all hanging in there. I really hope I can keep them alive for more than a week.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Wrigley loves it when...

Tom picks him up and carries him around:





and then Wrigs carries up his blanket for bedtime:

what kind of poo are you gonna do

Remember this post from a while ago??? Well after today's walk we can add yet another poo style to the mix. I call it "the double sided dildo".

I sh*t you not, this is what Wrigs poo looked like on our walk today (except for the bright blue color)

Anyway, not sure why I felt compelled to share this information on here. It was just shocking and I needed to write about it. Here's the old post for reference in case no one knows what I'm talking about....

(old post from April)

Wrigs ate 3 of my Landjagers that I bought this week at Pike's. Chumley must have knocked them off the counter because there was no other way Wrigs could have reached them. I came downstairs to an empty bag on the floor and Wrigs had a guilty face and a rumbling tummy. There were also tiny bites in the bottom of the bag which makes me think Chum started the whole thing.

Anyway, I've been walking Wrigs A LOT trying to make sure everything is expunged from his system.

When Tom and I walk him together we place bets on what kind of poo he's going to do. As he does his poo walk (he gets his body low to the ground, tail too, and sniffs and sniffs and sniffs for just the right spot) I'll say "Wrigs, what kind of poo are you gonna do?"

I even have some what of a song to go along with it...

One, Two, Do a BIG poo.

Three, Four, Here comes more.

Five, Six, Did you eat sticks??

Seven, Eight, FUMIGATE!!!

So anyway after Wrigs gets into prime pooing position Tom and I will shout out what kind of poo we think he's going to do.

Here are the options:

- the big log (self explanatory)

- hard nuggets (Tom always says, "Hard Nugget Brigade!" when this happens, he made this up himself)

- soft serve swirly cone (think McDonalds)

and finally

- carne Asada or chili Mac (these 2 are often one in the same and can be used interchangeably)

So today, based on Wrigs devouring the 3 giant meat sticks, I assumed (in my head since Tom was not with me) that it would be a Carne Asada or Chili Mac combo. But it wasn't. When I saw the nuggets pop out I was surprised and said aloud to Wrigs,

"WOW! A hard nugget brigade?"

There was a woman walking her son in a stroller just a couple feet ahead of me and I'm not sure if she heard, but I pretended to talk on my blue tooth until we passed her.

I am surprised though that he had hard nuggets. I thought the meat sticks would have resulted in a hot lava flow but I guess not. Maybe there's still more to come.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

the computer class

So today was my first day co-teaching a computer class at the Senior Center (there were 2 of us, thank God.) The class consisted of 9 senior students ranging in age from the mid 70's to early 90's. I know this because the seniors offered this information freely, with much pride in fact. Originally the plan was to show them how to use Microsoft Outlook. We quickly realized that we needed to move onto plan b since about half of them had never even used a computer before. So the lesson went something like this, "this is your keyboard, this is your screen, this is your mouse, oh no don't worry it isn't a live mouse- well, it's just a silly term used in computer lingo - and no the cord is not his tail, but gee, that sort of makes sense now doesn't it - My! My! you are quite clever now aren't you?!?!"

It's amazing how much we, the everyday computer users, take for granted. For instance, when we move our mouse or finger around the touch pad, we don't think twice about an arrow symbol, a little pointy hand, a solid line with the little "t" in the middle or a blinking cursor. We just know what each little thing does without giving it a second thought. So now try explaining those simple, basic symbols to a 90 year old - who has never even navigated a computer before. And THEN try to explain the internet and all of its vastness and capabilities to someone who's used to absorbing knowledge through a card catalogue at the library. It was mind boggling for me so I can only imagine what it was like for them.

stillness

Tom and I just returned from playing a quick game of tennis. Courts are just down the street from our house, and the views are amazing- water and mountains all around. As we're running around the court, huffing, puffing and smacking the ball, I notice the other people around us. They're laying on blankets, sitting on benches, or sprawled out on the bluff by the shore, all just being still, taking in the sights, sounds and smells around them. When Tom and I stopped for a "quick water break" I asked him, "When was the last time we just sat like all these people?" He responded, "Never??" And he's right. For as long as I can remember we have never just sat still, together. We're always doing something, there's never complete stillness whether it be our bodies or our minds. Even if we have a picnic at the beach I would bring a bag of knitting and a book, Tom would bring golf or fishing magazines and of course we'd have our phones. I asked him if he'd like to give this stillness thing a try and bring a blanket and nothing else, (ok maybe a bottle of wine but that's it) and see if we like it. He shrugged and said it can't hurt. Then he said he thought I'd have the hardest time with it and after 5 minutes I'd be ready to go. I told him I'm up for the challenge and will just have to see what happens. Not sure when we're going to try this but I hope it's before the end of the year.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

updates

Where have I been lately??? I have not been updating this "online journal" as I need and want to be. Life has somehow gotten in the way. But it's a good thing, because I'm starting to feel like I have one again. A couple of friends and a family member (who I didn't even know read this blog) told me that they feel disconnected from our life because I haven't been updating much anymore. My response, "Get on facebook and you'll know wayyyyyy more than you want to." I guess that's where I've been spending the majority of my online time. I don't want that to take away from blogging but I love how I'm able to stay connected with my real life friends from the past and those I've left behind from the last 3 states we've lived. If it wasn't for that venue, I don't think I could have survived the last nine months.

So I'll try and sum up what's been going on with various snippets:

Chumley:
He was doing great until we had a little gathering at our house last Friday. Our party guests ended up spending the night which infuriated the beast and in retaliation, decided to urinate all over the leather couch, dining room cushion and my portable massage chair unit. We are starting him on another round of antibiotics in the off chance he has a kidney or urinary infection but really, I just think he's being a spiteful son of a B.

Wrigley:
Could not be happier. He is the happiest dog I've ever met. Always so willing to please and just so full of love. Tom bought him a life vest so he could go on the kayak with him. He had his first kayak ride last week and LOVED it! Of course I took some video:



Tom:
Been working hard as always and is so committed to making his business the best it can be in light of these tough times. It's not been easy for retailers but he is confident and willing to do whatever it takes to make sure things turn around. I admire his dedication and wish I had 1/100th of it. Also, two of Tom's best buddies from Chicago are moving out here with job relocations. He is so thrilled about this and I couldn't be happier for him. Kind of strange how things work out.

me:
This past month I've felt great mentally. The weather has been nice and it's helped to quell those dark, depressing thoughts that take over when it's crappy. My physical health however has not been so great. Been having some nasty bouts of digestive problems, so I've made a dr. appt to figure out what can be done. Aside from that, I've been volunteering at a Senior Center and am teaching a Computer class tomorrow. The class will focus on Microsoft Outlook, which I haven't used in 7 years, but I hope it all comes back, just like riding a bike. I've also sent my resume to Microsoft and been in touch with a wonderful woman in their Communications Dept and may have some interesting leads to pursue in the near future.

Ok so now that I've caught up on the boring stuff, I'll go back to posting my usual nonsense. And believe me, there's a LOT more of that to come!!!

Love to all.

Come visit!!!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

deep thoughts from the animals


This morning, while lolly gagging around the house with the animals, Tom says, "I wonder what Wrigley thinks about during the day."

I say, "Well that's easy. He's thinking...

'love love love love love love love COOKIES! love love love love love love love WALK! love love love love love love love SNIFF BOTTOMS! love love love love love love love BALL! love love love love love love love CHASE KITTY! love love love love love love love FOOD! love love love love love love love I LOVE MY PIG!'

This led to a conversation about what Chumley thinks about and here's what we believe goes through his little noggin all day long...

"kill kill kill, kill kill kill, PEE ON PILLOWS! kill kill kill, kill kill kill, BITE LEGS! kill kill kill, kill kill kill, HUMP MY BEAR!! kill kill kill, kill kill kill, KNOCK GLASS OFF COUNTER! kill kill kill, kill kill kill SWAT FACES! kill kill kill, kill kill kill FEED ME NOW BITCH!"


Yep, that pretty much sums up my beasts.